


Good To Be Home

by Koren M (CyberMathWitch)



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Darcy just wants to be home, Family Angst, Gen, the ships are just there if you squint, there is no normal, this is really Darcy's show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-09
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-09 11:57:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/455170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberMathWitch/pseuds/Koren%20M
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy tries going to visit her parents for the Fourth of July, and proves the old cliche about not being able to go home again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good To Be Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kadollan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadollan/gifts).



> Ok. This is for Kadollan, because my Darcy muse is arguably her fault to begin with.
> 
> HUGE thanks to [SidheRa](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SidheRa/pseuds/SidheRa) for the beta, it was really fun and extremely helpful!
> 
> The soundtrack to this one is Kate Voegele's "Lift Me Up". [lyrics](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/katevoegele/liftmeup.html) and [the song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPwWFEitgVs) (just the music and lyrics, because I couldn't find a relevant fanvid).

She didn't really understand it until she went home to visit her family for the Fourth of July.  Until that point, if you'd asked her why her life had changed and why she couldn't go back, she'd have said (if you had clearance) that it was because of the little things like her best friend dating a god, hanging out with assassins and billionaires, and oh yeah, somehow ending up on the payroll of a super-secret(ish) spy agency.

But that really wasn't it at all.

Of course she had to hedge and evade when her cousin Marissa asked her what she was doing now, and of course she couldn't outright brag about having met (tazed) aliens or about how she happened to know what Captain America looked like half naked (because, you know, _she lived with him_.)  Hedging and evading about her job, in general, was something she'd sort of anticipated no matter what ended up with, being poli-sci and all. Some of her professors had even discussed secrecy and non-disclosure agreements, usually in the resume and career prep seminars she'd taken senior year.

They hadn't talked about this. Maybe it was one of those things you discovered on your own, except she really didn't think the rest of her family ever had.  It wasn't the details of her days that she didn't feel like she could share with her family anymore - it was herself.

Living with the Avengers had changed her and made her more comfortable in her own skin.  Normal had shifted on the scale from one extreme to another - instead of "be sociable, be polite, don't be offensive or rock the boat," now normal had new meanings.

_Normal_ was Pepper, in Armani and Manolo Blahniks have a screaming argument with Tony in the middle of the communal living room, regardless of who else was there.

_Normal_ was walking into the kitchen at 2 am to the sight of Thor and Jane making excellent if embarrassing use of the island counter, and being able to laugh with Jane about it over coffee the next morning.

_Normal_ was three different weapons being shot at three different targets in under 20 seconds because someone said the words "I dare you" to Clint.

_Normal_ was finding Steve on the couch, his face smeared with a combination of graphite and tears while he tried to remember someone well enough to sketch them, and Natasha silently sitting on the floor next to him with her head tipped back to rest against his leg, eyes closed while she feigned sleep to give him both comfort and privacy.

_Normal_ was the tea and cookies routine she was developing with Pepper and Jane to help deal with having to stay behind while the others went out and risked their lives.

_Normal_ was seeing a mostly naked Bruce stumbling up from the safe room, clutching a towel around his waist while he rummaged through the fridge and drank the orange juice straight out of the carton because hulking out made him thirsty.

_Normal was the night, a week after that first battle, when Darcy first met the Avengers at the impromptu, private wake they'd held for Coulson. Tony had broken a bottle of scotch by throwing it against a stone wall, Steve had stood there, arms wrapped around himself like he was trying to disappear. Bruce sat on the opposite end of the couch from Pepper with his head in his hands, while she cried openly and occasionally knocked back a shot glass of something dark and strong. Clint and Natasha had ended up sitting on and around an arm chair, moving together without looking like they were all over each other but still keeping up some kind of contact; a constant check of "yes, I'm still here," a rare moment, she now realized, of insecurity. Thor had claimed the other chair and was unusually stone-faced despite Jane being perched across his legs, a large bottle of what might've been mead mostly ignored at his elbow. Darcy had gratefully accepted a bottle of really good red wine and settled in to get completely plastered. She might've ended the night in her skirt and bra, asleep sitting up at the coffee table, but only because someone had spilled something on her silk blouse._

Normal was not sitting around the dining room table, watching her mother channeling all her nervous energy into making sure there were enough serving spoons and whether or not Darcy's dress was appropriate.  It wasn't pretending to like the very fake CPA that her sister Sherry had brought, who'd already made a pass at her in the hallway.  Normal would've been telling her mother to get the hell over it and maybe even starting a food fight.  It would've been throwing a punch like Natasha had taught her and laying the guy out when he slid a hand down too close to her ass.  It would've been making waves and breaking the tension and not being afraid to tell her latest dirty joke over dessert, instead of realizing that she was censoring everything coming out of her mouth, not for state secrets but for something that might be "offensive" or "disruptive".

Fuck that shit.

Sherry had moved on from the tabloid story of the day (predictably, it was about Tony's sex life - Darcy had really been trying not to listen) and was telling some kind of story about how outraged she'd been when her neighbor had gone out in his underwear to grab his mail.

"That scandalizes you? Really? Grow up Sherry, you should've just enjoyed the show."

"What?"

"The naked neighbor.  Was he hot? Cause if so, then hey, free show! If not, oh well, but no harm, no foul, either way."

"I didn't stare at him!" Sherry protested.

"Your loss. I know I certainly look my fill when my roommates walk around half-naked."

"Darcy Catrina Lewis!" her mother exclaimed, and she rolled her eyes.

She looked at her mother for a minute and resigned herself to the disappointment she saw there.  Rubbing a hand over her forehead to try and stall the headache gathering there, she sighed.  "You know what?  I can't do this anymore."

She pushed away from the table and made herself walk out of the room instead of running, and took the stairs one at a time because she wasn't a kid anymore.  Most of her things were still in her suitcase, open on the floor next to her old bed in her old room so she was already done repacking when her mother appeared in the doorway. 

"Darcy."

"Not now, Mom."

"What's happening to you?" her mother was effectively blocking her escape route.  A distant part of her brain was already calculating the best way to get down if she went through the side window, and whether or not the tree was close enough to grab on a jump.  Probably not.

"Nothing's _happening_ to me, Mom."

"You didn't used to be like this.  So rude and impulsive."

"Yes.  I was.  I did.  I just... didn't, not around you."

"I don't... I have concerns, Darcy, about what you're doing with your life.  Living with strangers, dropping out of school-"

"They're _not_ strangers.  And I didn't drop out of school, I got a goddamn job instead of going to grad school.  That's not the same thing."

Her mother frowned at her language.  "You won't even tell us their names, or anything about your job - and then you go saying things like that at dinner.  In front of guests!"

"It wouldn't do any good to tell your their names.  And I _can't_ tell you about my job.  I do stuff for the government.  It's classified.  Believe that or not, it's up to you, but it's true.  And I'm tired of how... fake everyone is.  Life is too fucking short to be worried about the table settings, or if your neighbor decides to go starkers.  You're missing _everything_ because you're so worried about what everyone will think, and I'm sick of it."

"Someday, when you're older, you'll understand that appearances are importa-"

"No, I won't.  Believe me.  Appearances are the whims of the masses and they suck.  Gossip and libel and the internet video of the week are... did you _miss_ the part where New York was nearly destroyed?  And now all anyone can talk about is who Tony Stark is sleeping with, never mind that he saved the fucking world!"

"Darcy." 

"It's not about trying to make people think everything is perfect, mom!  You can't put all your time and energy into making everyone else think that everything is fine no one is broken, because trust me, we're all broken."

Her mother just stared at her, looking lost and confused and Darcy wished more than anything she knew of some way to explain it to her, or some way to make her see what she saw in people now.  

"Mom, I love you, but I can't be here right now.  I need to go home.  I'll call you when I'm back in the city, ok?"  She kissed her mother's cheek as she pushed past her in the doorway and went straight down the stairs and out the front door, thankful she'd parked on the street and could get her car out around the others.

*****

The conversation was still playing on repeat in her head during the two hour drive back to the city.  By the time she reached the Tower, it was starting to get dark and she could see the first hints of fireworks above the buildings.  Inside, she stepped into the private elevator car, and when the doors closed and she let herself lean against the car while it wound it’s way up.  “Welcome home, Miss Lewis,” JARVIS intoned, and she smiled despite being tired.

“Thanks, J.  It’s good to be back.”

He must have told the others she was on her way up, because Pepper met her with a beer and a hug.  “You’re back early.”

“It was... I needed to come home,” 

“I tried to go back at Christmas one year.”  The look she gave her was full of understanding, and Darcy started to smile.  “C’mon, you got here just in time for cake.  There’s tons.”

Pepper laced their arms together and led her through the room to the balcony where everyone was gathered.  Clint was perched on the balcony wall with Natasha sitting nearby, a glass of something blue in her hand and a hint of a smile on her face as she listened to whatever Bruce was saying.  Jane was lying across a lounge chair and staring out across the night sky,  and Darcy knew that look - she was calculating something in her head that would end up keeping her up all night after the fireworks were over.  

Tony was trying to cut into an unreasonably large, brightly colored cake that was decorated with stars and stripes, and he'd obviously said something to both amuse and scandalize Steve, who was standing nearby with his mouth half open and that “I have no idea what to say to that” look on his face.  Pepper let go of her and slipped over next to Tony just in time to steal the first piece of cake right out of his hands and gave him the “I dare you to stop me” look.

“But it’s Steve’s birthday cake!” Tony whined.

Steve shook his head, refusing to be pulled in.  “By all means, ladies first,” he grinned, and Tony shot him a fake glare.

Darcy felt something unwind inside her chest and felt her shoulders relax with it.  This was where she wanted and needed to be, here with the most broken, messed up, least "normal" people she knew.  Who were also the best people she knew.

And it was good to be home.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know more about the girls' tea and cookies ritual mentioned here-in, read Kadollan's [It's Going to Be Okay](http://archiveofourown.org/works/439696). Ostensibly, this takes place in the same universe or at the very least in an extremely similar one.
> 
> I just got huge Darcy feels about trying to go back after learning to live with such a changed world - not just the gods and monsters and magic changes, but getting to know these extraordinary people and forming a chosen family with them. Or rather, going from a family that loves you because of who and what you are instead of in spite of it.


End file.
